A recent study done by  public health expert Nathan Grills from Monash University in Australia, has declared jolly old Saint Nick a public health menace.  With that big old belly that jiggles like a bowl full of jelly and his speeding (yes, speeding while driving a sleigh) may put our children at risk for bad health choices and Santa may give them H1N1.  Santa needs to ride a bike and eat carrots with his reindeer to front a much healthier life style to children.  Seriously? 

Grills apparently donned the suit of the big guy in red and says, "I was kissed and hugged by snotty-nosed kids at each performance andwas never offered alcohol swabs to wipe my rosy cheeks between clients."  Why not take your own sanitizer if you are that worried about the germs?  Can't you just see this man being jolly Santa?  Ho, Ho, NO!  Don't touch me, you snot nosed kid!  Yikes!

I really hope we never embrace the skinny Santa.  I say let him eat cookies!  My kids don't think they need to eat only cookies because Santa does.  Let's give our children a little more credit for thinking than that!  How else is Santa going to fly through the sky in a sleigh if he doesn't speed?!  Doesn't he require magic to fly?  Let's ban his magical powers as well because kids might try to fly and that could be really dangerous too!  Speed is required for airplanes and jets to fly too, duh!  If Santa were skinny,  wouldn't the reindeer go even faster?  Less weight to carry!  Maybe PETA should get involved.  I mean, those reindeer are probably being mistreated carrying all that weight!

Doesn't Santa live with elves?  As any mom knows, hanging with the little people is EXHAUSTING!  So maybe Santa needs his comfort food to deal with the elves and stay sane.  Plus, being a big guy makes him appear authoritative which you've got to have when you're dealing with elves.  They're pesky!  What else does the poor guy have to do living in the North Pole?  Brrr....

As I recall, doesn't Santa do a lot of deliveries of bikes, scooters, sleds, and roller skates at Christmas?  I know I got a few bikes as a kid from him!  So see, Santa DOES promote a health lifestyle for kids! 

If you are worried about the germs Santa may be carrying, sanitize your child's hands after sitting on his lap or don't go see him.

Leave the silly traditions alone!  Do we have to take the fun out of everything?!   Next they will say that Rudolph's red nose promotes getting a cold!  To think this man was actually paid (probably well) to do such a silly study!  Ok, vent over.